COPS BUSTED FOR BIZARRE CRANK CALLS

THREE dummy deputies in South Carolina made crank calls about finding corpses while on duty — and now the fakers are in real trouble, cops say.

BLOOD MONEY!

Chilling probe claims sick & dying critters' vital fluids are sold to your cats & dogs

ROBERT WAGNER'S BOOZY LAST DAYS

ACTING legend Robert Wagner has been partying like a champ at age 94, and pals say he’s happy to spend his twilight years with a glass in his hand and a smug smile on his mug!

NEWHART'S SAD BATTLE WITH BROKEN HEART!

Fears wife's death is killing TV icon, 94

BEACH BOY BRIAN'S DEMENTIA HORROR

Struggles to feed & clothe himself

HARRY GOES ALL IN!

Abandoning titles to be U.S. citizen - but Meghan isn't delighted by idea

MADONNA'S A BIG FLOP!

Comeback tour hits the skids

LIONEL DANCING ON THE CEILING AS KATY QUITS!

Idol gang happy to see diva go!

GET MARRIED ALREADY!

Seacrest mom lays down law as gay chatter singles out bachelor

BRITNEY TRYING TO MAKE BABY WITH BAD BOY!

TROUBLED Britney Spears insists “being single is awesome,” but spies say the hot-to-trot blonde is having secret hookups with her bad boy housekeeper Paul Richard Soliz — and wants his baby!

DYING KING CHARLES DESPERATE GAMBLE

Betting it all on QUACK homeopathic cancer cures

HUCKSTER HARRY'S MERCY FLIGHT WAS SHAMELESS STUNT!

King's inner circle trashes cynical son

PRESIDENTIAL PERVS EXPOSED BY OWN HANDS

Therr lurid love letters and dirty doings

O.J. SIMPSON CANCER CRISIS

Ex-con's back is against the wall

FALLEN IDOL!

Katy Perry leaving TV competition under dark cloud

ILLEGAL ALIEN BAGGED FOR BUTCHERING CHEERLEADER!

ILLEGAL immigrant Rafael Govea Romero stalked a pretty high school cheerleader before brutally butchering her in Texas - and now the murderous Mexican may pay for the crime with his life, lawmen say.

CONTROL-FREAK BRAD KEEPING LOVER IN CHAINS!

Imposes iron-clad contract dictating Ines' every move

LIFE WITH CHER IS TOTAL HELL!

Daughter-in-law demands apology from music queen

WHAT HAPPENED TO JEN'S FACE?

Sitcom legend is unrecognizable after nip/tucks

JESSICA & ASHLEE'S SURGICAL SISTER ACT

Aiming to be living dolls

DRAFT DODGER TRUMP JEALOUS OF HERO VETS!

Shrinks insist attacks on military are fueled hy the knowledge he lacked nerve to serve

KIM AND BEYONCE TAG TEAM TAYLOR!

Catty divas find Swift nauseating

OVER MY DEAD BODY!

Britney plays hardball as dad demands cash

LENNY & LISA EXPLORE 2ND MARRIAGE!

Get thumbs-up from kids and her ex Momoa

SLY DOG GEORGE SCORES WITH CUDDLY GIFT!

Marks wife's 46th birthday with puppy

KIM TRAPPED IN PSORIASIS HELL!

CRUSHED Kim Kardashian is sharing graphic images of her “painful” psoriasis with 364 million online followers as she unveils the blotchy red rash crawling up her right leg!

BUDDY HOLLY CRASH SOLVED!

EXPERTS have discovered the shocking causes behind the tragic plane crash that killed rock star Buddy Holly, two other rising musicians and their pilot 65 years ago.

ENTITLED MEGHAN & HARRY SHOW THEIR TRUE STRIPES

IN ONE of his hilarious satires, comic legend Mel Brooks plays King Louis XVI, who’s seen enjoying his absolute power by shooting peasants for sport, then declaring: “It’s good to be the king!”

SEX CREEP COSBY IS CALLED OUT AGAIN!

Sued for drugging & assaulting yet another teenager

DREW'S SUICIDAL CRIES FOR HELP

THE Price Is Right’s Drew Carey admits he twice attempted suicide because he was “tired” of his life!