Blood couldn't make us any closer'
Your Family|June 2020
THE TITLE OF ‘DAD’ DOESN’T ONLY BELONG TO SOMEONE YOU SHARE DNA WITH. THESE MEN HAVE FILLED THE FATHER FIGURE ROLE AND RAISED THEIR CHILDREN AS THEIR OWN
NOLWAZI DHLAMINI

Andile ‘Dj Andy X’ Xolo and his wife, Lebogang, have been married for 10 years. They have two kids together: Andy’s step-daughter Palesa, 15, and their son, Oluthando, 8.

‘Andy and I met in Swaziland at a New Year’s Eve Party. I went on a road trip with my best friend and her husband and we were coming from Joburg, while Andy travelled from Durban. We were in a long-distance relationship for some months before he decided he wanted to be close to me, so he moved to Joburg, and within a year he’d proposed. He asked my daughter Palesa if he could marry me. She held the ring while he proposed on bended knee,’ Lebogang explains.

This is Lebogang’s second marriage, and after a traumatic divorce, counts meeting Andy as a gift from God. ‘My previous marriage lasted only a year, but I’m grateful for the experience, because it left me with my most wonderful blessing, my daughter.’

For a long while after her divorce, Lebogang didn’t feel comfortable introducing anyone to Palesa until she was certain he’d be in for the long haul. ‘I knew when the time was right to introduce them. He came from Durban to meet her; the three of us went on a date and he flew back home. She was four years old at the time. How they interacted was extremely important to me because I trust my daughter’s judgement, and kids are generally very intuitive. If feel if they hadn’t clicked, we wouldn’t be where we are today. Luckily they hit it off and that gave me some peace of mind.’

Naturally, Palesa fought for her mom’s attention in the beginning, and the couple had to reassure her that she’s the most important person in both their lives. Andile also had to adjust to being a step-dad, while trying not to overwhelm Palesa. ‘Lebogang and I had to be clear on how to handle things. We never disagreed in front of her and we made a pact that all our kids would be raised the same way. So even when I went to my wife about issues, she’s say: “Do as you see fit, you’re also a parent”. Palesa taught me how to be a father, because suddenly I had a firstborn who I had to help shape into a responsible human being. That was and still is a wonderful experience for me,’ Andile recalls. ‘Then one day, she called me Papa Andy, and that stuck. That gave us comfort that everything would work out just fine.’

From then on, the family blended seamlessly and have shared an unbreakable bond. ‘It might sound like a fairy tale, but we somehow just fit like a puzzle. I think what made things easy is how Lebogang and I were both raised. We both knew the importance of speaking in one voice, having goals, and encouraging one another. We both wanted a loving and safe home for our kids to be proud of. We live for our kids and we see the appreciation in their eyes every day.’

In 2012, the couple welcomed a new addition to the family, their son Oluthando. ‘I love being a DJ and connecting with people through music; but my greatest achievement is being a father. While cheers and praises from the crowds on dance floors send my heart racing, it’s really the good night hugs and kisses that I look forward to the most. Kids love you unconditionally; you may have some faults as we’re all human, but in their eyes you’re perfect,’ says Andile.

Continue reading your story on the app

Continue reading your story in the magazine

MORE STORIES FROM YOUR FAMILYView All

Beat The Disease To Please

Is saying ‘yes’ is a habit that’s leaving your own needs constantly overlooked, as you put everyone else’s needs before yours? How can you break the cycle of people- pleasing and put yourself first?

5 mins read
Your Family
June 2020

Quaran-Teens Help Them Manage Their Mental Health

Teens climbing the walls during covid-19? Restlessness isn’t the only thing to be concerned about, writes daniella renzon, community service clinical psychologist

5 mins read
Your Family
June 2020

Know Your Headache Migraine, Tension Or Cluster?

It’s common for people to refer to any splitting headache as a migraine, but this might not always be the case

5 mins read
Your Family
June 2020

Going Through A Friendship Crisis?

Is your waning social life affecting your marriage?

5 mins read
Your Family
June 2020

Life Post-Lockdown

Pandemic panic, brain fog and ocd… as you get back to life un-usual, psychologist marise swart shares some advice on some common issues that may affect your mental health

5 mins read
Your Family
June 2020

How To... Make Gluten-Free Flours

Prepare these gluten-free flours to replace cake flour or self-raising flour in your favourite recipes!

2 mins read
Your Family
June 2020

Cosmetic Treatments: Everything You Need To Know

Considering a cosmetic procedure, but aren’t sure what to expect? Cape town based general and aesthetic practitioner dr jan nel offers his valuable insights

7 mins read
Your Family
June 2020

LOVING LOCAL

LOCAL FASHION BRANDS ARE HELPING US BECOME MORE CONSCIOUS SHOPPERS IN THIS EVER-CHANGING WORLD, WITH THEIR BEAUTIFULLY CRAFTED ECO-FRIENDLY WARDROBE PIECES

5 mins read
Your Family
June 2020

Listen Up

EVER NOTICE HOW YOUR CHILD’S BIONIC EARS PICK UP EVERY WORD OF YOUR PRIVATE CONVERSATIONS, YET COMPLETELY TUNE OUT WHEN YOU REALLY NEED THEM TO LISTEN? OUR EXPERTS OFFER SOME CONSTRUCTIVE ADVICE ON HOW TO MAKE YOURSELF HEARD

4 mins read
Your Family
June 2020

Blood couldn't make us any closer'

THE TITLE OF ‘DAD’ DOESN’T ONLY BELONG TO SOMEONE YOU SHARE DNA WITH. THESE MEN HAVE FILLED THE FATHER FIGURE ROLE AND RAISED THEIR CHILDREN AS THEIR OWN

8 mins read
Your Family
June 2020
RELATED STORIES

CNN+ FIASCO LEAVES STAR ANCHORS AT SEA!

Wallace, Lemon, Anderson no one is safe after disaster

2 mins read
National Enquirer
May 16, 2022

One-Skillet DELICIOUS MEALS

With these fresh, simple and flavor-packed suppers, all you need is a humble skillet to travel the world!

3 mins read
Closer US
May 16, 2022

A new outlook

With a wraparound porch and oversize windows that frame the views, an updated rear addition embraces its pastoral setting and readies a well-loved, almost 220-year-old farmhouse for another century of family life

7 mins read
This Old House Magazine
Summer 2022

An Anti-Migraine Diet

What you eat-and don't eat-can help stave off debilitating headaches

5 mins read
Reader's Digest US
June 2022

The Humbling of Andy Dunn

This is the story of a founder who hit it big and suffered a mental breakdown-and his efforts to win back the trust and relationships he wrecked in the process. One day at a time. One person at a time.

10+ mins read
Inc.
May - June 2022

BULLETPROOF VEST GAME BACKFIRES!

Florida boy dies as teens take turns shooting each other

1 min read
Globe
May 02, 2022

Style Points

Shaina Taub, writer and composer of the off-Broadway hit Suffs, takes on The Devil Wears Prada—with some help from Elton John

3 mins read
Bloomberg Businessweek
May 16, 2022

Christie's Hong Kong to Present The Champion Collection, Part III: The Artistry of Complications

The May 24 sale includes 71 lots representing seven brands.

2 mins read
WatchTime
May/June 2022

Living the Dream

Both family-friendly and perfect for entertaining, the forever home SoCal architect Chris Brandon designed for himself, wife, and kids marries modern design with old-world charm.

4 mins read
Ocean Home
April/May 2022

HEATHER READY TO LOCK & LOAD!

Chris Heisser and Heather were all smiles on a recent outing in L.A.

1 min read
National Enquirer
May 09, 2022