JORDAN BOUNCES SON OVER FOUL FIANCEE!

BASKETBALL legend Michael Jordan may have been the “best man” ever on the court, but insiders say he’s slam-dunked his son Marcus’ request to serve that role at his wedding!

ZOE'S DAD CALLS CHANNING TROUBLE!

Doesn’t want his girl marrying Magic Mike

MANEATER ARI HUNGRY AGAIN!

A-list hunks run from ‘dating poison’

TWAIN TOUR DRIVES WEDGE IN MARRIAGE!

SONGBIRD Shania Twain is reveling in her career comeback. But friends fear the workaholic country queen and her hubby, Frédéric Thiébaud, are leading separate lives — and hurtling toward a devastating $400 million divorce!

CASH-SPLASHING MARIAH BLOWING HER DOUGH!

Drops 1M/month all she wants for Christmas is everything!

SCRATCH THAT!

Kim loses catfight with 13M kitty hy a whisker!

U.S. BLOOD MONEY!

Taxpayers wind up footing $400M bill for Hamas terrorists

PENTAGON UFO SKEPTIC KICKED INTO STRATOSPHERE!

Honcho packs bags after turning blind eye to evidence of aliens

WYNONNA'S A NO-GO FOR REBA!

Voice coach has Knives out for rival country queen

FREAKED MATT FIGHTS THE FAT!

Perry's passing is wake-Up call for lardy Leblanc

JEN CALLS FRIENDS FOES!

Blames them for abandoning Matthew when he needed them

THE KING & I

ENTERTAINMENT queen Barbra Streisand is singing in her new memoir about her five-decade friendship with superfan King Charles, who had once reportedly gushed about her great “sex appeal!”

JUSTIN READY TO RUMBLE WITH BRIT!

May sue to stop her whipping up haters

STRUGGLING CELINE'S COMEBACK MIRACLE!

STRICKEN Celine Dion is sparking rumors she’s ready for a return to the stage after being spotted out twice in one week after more than three years out of the public eye!

JESSICA'S NIGHTMARE PILLOW LIPS!

JUICY Jessica Simpson’s plump new pillow lips and shocking trout pout are sparking speculation she’s gotten a puff job from a nip/tuck specialist!

SLY STILL ON ROPES OVER SON'S DEATH!

SCREEN tough guy Sylvester Stallone admits he’s still fighting the pain of losing his son Sage a decade ago.

COUNTRY TURNS ITS BACK ON BARKING MAD McGINN!

Collared for threatening to kill jalpal's pooch

SMARTER THAN THE AVERAGE BEAR!

Lawmen free bruins locked in minivan

BAYWATCH MIKE'S CAREER DROWNED BY PARKINSON'S!

BAYWATCH beefcake Mike Newman has revealed he was forced to float away from his acting career after being diagnosed with Parkinson's disease in 2006 - but now the courageous 66-year-old is finally telling his story in a new docuseries about the hit rescue show!

TINY TODDLER IS HELL ON WHEELS!

Gets pulled over for speeding & brushing teeth while driving!

EX-CON LORI'S MARRIAGE IS IN THE COOLER!

Hubby's sulking over her comeback

MATTHEW PERRY TRAGEDY: WHAT REALLY HAPPENED!

Warning signs ignored before Friends star's hot tub death

WE'VE FOUND HOFFA'S GRAVE

Investigators insist slain union boss is under ballfield

JUSTIN & JESSICA MARRIAGE CRISIS!

In therapy after Britney drops abortion & love rat bombshells

MARIE O STILL AIN'T KIDDING!

Repeats children won't inherit her $26M fortune

IRAN SLEEPER CELLS INFILTRATE AMERICA!

Terrorists hiding in plain sight while plotting massacre

VAN DAMME CAN'T MUSCLE INTO ARNIE'S INNER CIRCLE

BLOODSPORT blowhard Jean-Claude Van Damme is trying and failing - to muscle his way into the good graces of longtime movie nemesis Arnold Schwarzenegger after trash-talking the Terminator hunk for years, sources dish.

BEN'S BACK IN THE DOGHOUSE!

BONEHEAD Ben Affleck is in the doghouse with catty wife Jennifer Lopez because the pigheaded Batman star won't wrangle their menagerie of pets or clean up the animals' crap, according to sources, who say the situation's causing a big stink in their 16-month marriage!

BLAKE'S BOTOX BEAUTY SECRET

COUNTRY cowpoke Blake Shelton seems to be aging a little too gracefully these days and word is his surgery-loving wife, Gwen Stefani, has talked him into getting Botox!

BROKE BIJOU'S BACK AGAINST THE WALL!

Hunting for honey with lots of money