TOUGH KIDS FOR TOUGH TIMES

As parents and caregivers, it is our instinct to protect our children from harm. When they are very small, we teach them what not to touch, we scoop them up before they fall, we hold their hands when they balance on high walls. The instinct to keep our children from feeling hurt never leaves us, so when they are older and come to us with emotional turmoil, it is only natural that our initial urge is to make the bad thing go away. But what if this reflex is doing more harm than good when it comes to teaching our young people how be become more resilient?

- By YASMINA FLOYER

We're living in a world that feels increasingly unpredictable, and for children, that uncertainty can feel magnified. From safety drills at school to social media pressures, today's young people are growing up in an emotional landscape that can sometimes feel overwhelming. Nirvisha Purohit works with both adults and young people around resilience. An NLP Master Practitioner and executive coach, she says: 'While adults can draw on lived experience to interpret uncertainty, children are still building their internal map of the world. That means every new challenge, whether it's a changing routine, or distressing news, can shape how they view safety, control, and possibility.'

I ask her why adults are more resilient, and she shares that the biggest difference is that adults have the benefit of perspective. 'We've experienced change, loss, recovery, and growth, we know that challenges pass and stability return. Children don't yet have those emotional reference points. They take cues from the adults around them, borrowing our nervous system to regulate their own.'

These experiences can form what NLP calls 'anchors', emotional links between situations and feelings. For instance, if every time a child hears breaking news, they also sense adult anxiety, the two experiences can become connected.

Recently, my 11-year-old son had to take part in a lockdown drill at his school. As a parent, the reality of why these precautions are necessary fills me with cold dread, but when he came to me with his concerns, I swallowed that dread and spoke to him of safety, of how secure he could feel in a school that knew how to take care of its kids in all eventualities. On the day of the drill itself, he was completely at ease.

'Children borrow our emotional state, so our calm presence becomes a signal of safety. Validation is equally important.