STEPPING into STEP PARENTING

Helping your partner raise their children in a blended family can be a positive experience for everyone - when you know the pitfalls and how to negotiate them

- Glynis Horning

Blended families could well become the most common form of family, given South Africa’s high divorce rate, with indicators that nearly half of marriages now fail (many within nine years), reports the South African College of Applied Psychology. With blended family comes step-parenting; challenging as it can be, it can also bring great joy. It allows you to play an important part in a child’s life; it allows the child to develop a positive relationship with another adult, and you and your partner to grow closer if you parent as a team.

Have REALISTIC EXPECTATIONS

Everyone will have their own fantasies, says Joburg-based counselling psychologist Karin Steyn. Yours will be that you’ll be one big happy family, where you love your stepkids and they love you. Your partner’s wish will be that you’ll love their kids as much as they do, and the kids will love you back.

The kids’ fantasy, however, is likely to be that their biological mom and dad will get back together and things will go back to the way they were. The reality is that there will be challenges and rough patches, and everyone will need to adapt to the new situation – but this can work out well for you all.