Unglamorous healing

In a world obsessed with quick fixes, we're often sold the idea that healing should be fast, dramatic and easy to measure. In reality, it's messy, slow and goes beyond a highlight reel. What happens when we let go of those expectations and embrace a more authentic process?

- Words by Caroline Brunne

You're standing at the edge of change, waiting for something to happen. Maybe it's the therapy session where everything will finally make sense. The retreat that promises transformation. The one conversation that will bring the closure you've been searching for. You've done the work, opened yourself up to the process, so where is the breakthrough?

The myth of the “breakthrough moment”

We've been taught to expect healing to arrive like a cinematic moment of clarity. A single, profound experience that rewires our thinking, soothes our wounds and sets us free. Social media is filled with stories of radical transformation: the day someone finally let go, the moment everything clicked into place, the single-best decision that changed the course of a life. These narratives position healing as a before-and-after story, measured in milestones and turning points.

Healing is rarely that tidy. Instead of a straight line from pain to transformation, it's a winding path filled with setbacks, detours and unexpected roadblocks. The expectation and desire of a breakthrough moment can create frustration when the reality of healing feels slow, unclear or incomplete.

Neuroscience research on neuroplasticity shows that genuine transformation is gradual. The brain rewires itself through repetition, not sudden insight. A single realisation may provide clarity, but lasting change happens through the steady, daily effort of choosing new patterns and responses.

The frustrating “messy middle”

Many people embarking on a healing journey expect to feel progressively better over time. But the process is often nonlinear with moments of progress followed by periods of stillness or difficulty.