OBSCURE FAMILIAL RELATIONS, EXPLAINED FOR THE HOLIDAYS

Children who share only one parent are half siblings. Children who have been bisected via a tragic logging accident are also half siblings, but in a different way.

- LILLIAN STONE

A great-aunt is someone with whom you communicate exclusively via Facebook. A great aunt is someone who catches you blazing that sticky icky after Thanksgiving dinner and doesn't tell your parents.

Your extended family includes grandparents, uncles, aunts, and cousins. It also includes Enzo, your cousin's cousin's cousin, who owns the Italian place down the street and proudly displays a signed photo of Bernadette Peters above the cash register. Every time you walk by with your dog, he gives you a wink and screams, "Proud home of preferred manicotti of Bernadette Peters!" Enzo, too, is family.