Get Your Groove Back

Motherhood doesn’t mean losing your identity. Here’s how to balance family responsibilities with leading a fulfilled life as a woman.

- Sisonke Labase

The introduction to motherhood is stressful: you’re all about changing nappies, feeding baby, being sleep deprived and feeling overwhelmed. And the fact that life doesn’t stop just because you’re a mother only adds to your stress. You must still be a partner, career woman and friend. So, when do you get to be you? Motherhood may be rewarding, but it’s okay to miss the person you were before having children.

We asked moms how they managed to find their identity and reconnect with the fun person they used to be before children took over their lives.

BUILD YOUR OWN VILLAGE 

Trying to do it all on your own is a trap. Delegate tasks and ask for help, advises Zimbini, 30. “I rely on family and friends to step in now and again. Their support keeps me going and gives me peace of mind,” she says.

Parenting coach Susan Gregor- Harlen says trust is one of the main reasons mothers hold back. “Most moms don’t trust that someone else will be good for their children. They think the father won’t put the kids to bed on time or the aunt may not do the things we do for our children. You need to learn to let go,” she says.

The old cliché that it takes a village to raise a child still holds true, says Kego, 33. “Having my family around helps. My mom is great at fetching my son from school and attending school activities when I’m swamped at work. I also have a helper who assists me to run the house.”

KEEP YOUR GIRL SQUAD