You're On Your Own, Kid

Mamata Venkat Subramanyam explains how heart-based meditative practices have helped her turn feeling lonely into savoring alone time

- By Mamata Venkat Subramanyam

If you're a Taylor Swift fan, a Swiftie, as I am unashamedly proud to be, then you can relate to the feeling of hearing her songs and knowing she just gets it. The opening notes of a song draw you in like a kid in a candy store, the lyrics hit and, "BAM." Sugar rush. Somebody, something, is finally able to put words to the hodgepodge mess of feelings clouding up your brain. And she does so to a tune that becomes irrevocably tattooed into your synapses, rendering you a little annoyed, yes, but mostly (and most importantly) seen.

I have had many of these revelatory moments with Taylor Swift songs. In general, music can be cathartic, and artists like Swift who are very lyric-driven can provide us with camaraderie in those deep, dark moments when we feel like no one else can understand what we're going through. In other words, those moments of loneliness.

I have often felt lonely throughout my thirty years of existence. I feel so grateful to be surrounded by wonderful friends and family, but, like many of us, I have experienced that deep, longing sensation of something missing. I can be in a room filled with people and still feel alone. My experiences with depression and anxiety have often put me in states of self-isolation, and I am guilty of being so reliant on figures and concepts outside of my own intuition that when those external reliances aren't steady or accessible, I lose my grounding. I'm not sure how to function without them.

These are very real understandings that have emerged over the last several months as I continue to encourage myself to do the inner work and really grow into my individual. Through these realizations have come many truths, but as I listened to a new Swift song called, "You're On Your Own, Kid," one truth became glaringly visible.

The ending lyrics punched me the hardest: