THE BEAUTIFUL LIFE THAT'S IN YOU

THOM BOND is a thought leader, peace educator, author, and mediation consultant who is best known for The Compassion Course. He's the founder and Director of Education for the New York Center for Nonviolent Communication. In part 2 of this interview, he talks with ELIZABETH DENLEY about his personal experience with NVC, and the associated learning curve.

- ELIZABETH DENLEY

Q: Can you talk about your journey with NVC? Is it ongoing? Is there an unfolding sense of wonder? Or is it simply a framework? How do you see this whole process?

When we first start the process of integration, we make visitations into the parallel universe. Then, if somehow we can create a new path by practicing over and over and over again, we start seeing a new set of things out there. As one of my students said, it changed her relationship with her husband, her cat, and her plants. I was just like, “Yes, yes, yes! You’ve got it right!”

It’s a never-ending story, a never-ending process. It’s always about, “What else can I learn about life today? What else can I experience that’s happening to me in a life-connected way?” And, when I live in a life connected way – which means I see the divine energy of life in you – that’s what I’m going to relate to: not the behaviors but the beautiful life that’s in you. It’s not easy, but over time we really start to see beyond the surface.

So you could yell at me, “Thom, you’re a loudmouth. You just love to hear yourself talk. You’re driving me nuts.” Instead of trying to defend myself, I could say, “Wow, you’re hurting right now. You’re in pain. I’m hearing that. I can only imagine it’s really frustrating for you right now to be here with me. You’d love something to be different.” If I buy into the outer judgment, then I’m going to say, “No I’m not! What about you?” ... and here we go, right?