Are You Being Phubbed?

Phubbing is the new vice that is proving to be disastrous to relationships. Here’s all you need to know about it…

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Could you just put down your phone for a while? While this may sound like the cry of an exasperated mother to her teen who is constantly glued to their cell phone, it may also be heard on a dinner date when one adult seems more interested in his or her phone than their significant other.

Phubbing Can Ruin Relationships

Phubbing, a contraction of the words ‘phone snubbing’, is the act of ignoring a companion in favour of using a smartphone.

Phubbers may be using their phones to check social media, text others who are not present or for any other online activities, while spending time with their partner. Studies have shown that phubbing between friends and romantic partners contributes to unhappiness in relationships and depression.

In a study poignantly titled ‘My life has become a major distraction from my cell phone’, Meredith David and James Roberts suggest that overuse of our phones in the presence of others can lead to a decline in one of the most important relationships we can have as an adult: The one with our life partner.

According to their study, phubbing decreases marital satisfaction, in part because it leads to conflict over phone use. A follow-up study by Chinese scientists assessed married adults with similar results: Partner phubbing, because it was associated with lower marital satisfaction, contributed to greater likelihood of depression.

This behaviour also affects casual friendships. When someone’s eyes wander, we intuitively know what brain studies also show: The mind is wandering. We feel unheard, disrespected, disregarded.

Especially during meaningful conversations, you lose the opportunity for true and authentic connection to another person, the core tenet of any friendship or relationship. These findings hold true regardless of people’s age, ethnicity, gender, or mood.