Parenting: A Purifying Experience

MEGHA BAJAJ is a new mother. She celebrates the life-changing joy of parenting, and the way the equilibrium of parental love keeps the world intact.

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My mom is no longer present in physical form. And I have no regrets because I feel I loved her with every breath, with every heartbeat, while she was with me. She was unwell for a few years, and I have done everything for her—from combing her hair to bathing her, from rubbing oil on her back to feeding her. I feel very complete about the relationship we shared for close to four decades of my life. Truth be told, I was her softest spot and her love for me was completely biased, irrational, and divine. I carry her crazy love with me, wherever I go.

The one thing I find myself often wishing (I know the irrationality of it, but as if wishes are ever rational) is that I could have told her “Thank you” after becoming a mother. Athyasaa happened to me after my mother moved on. I now value my mother even more intensely, even more poetically, and in an even more fulfilled way than ever. I wish I could tell her all I am feeling.