What drives ambition?

Expanding ambition beyond work to how we parent, care, and live helps us create a more meaningful life

- Sonali Gupta

One of my favourite questions in therapy sessions is to ask clients to define what ambition means for them. It’s a question that has fascinated me for years.

I have recognised that it’s a fallacy to believe that everyone defines success, happiness or ambition in the same way. In fact, the more we understand the lens and the stories that shaped people’s ambition, the better we get at connecting with them.

Having started work in 2005, what ambition means from a gender lens has changed significantly over the years. I still hear women in therapy sessions tell me how being seen as ambitious gets in the way of dating, partnered relationships and friendships. When men choose careers in the arts, social change or fields not traditionally associated with males, people often judge them as lacking ambition. This in turn leads to a dichotomy where ambition is often perceived as either good or bad.

Our limited and narrow definition of ambition can lead to biases and myths in how we see ambition. One of the biggest myths is seeing ambition purely from a career perspective.