The Trip Without the Baggage

During the pandemic, role as the family's travel agent all but disappeared, but with the world opening up again, I found myself already exhausted by it.

- MEGAN MARGULIES

One evening, after the kids were in bed, my wiped-out husband fell onto the couch to watch TV.

I, on the other hand, sat in front of my computer researching local beaches. It was a Friday night, so the question on my mind was, What will we do tomorrow?

I explored options, the cost of parking, and the best time of day to go, and then I posted on the local parent Facebook group to get more tips. By the time I decided on a late-afternoon trip to the beach with a picnic dinner, my husband had moved from the news to an old episode of The Simpsons.

I could have asked my husband for help, but I admit that I'm a bit of a control freak. I fear that if I'm not the one to do something, it won't be done right. On the day of our beach trip, while my. husband watched the kids, I gathered everything we needed (tent, towels, bathing suits, sunscreen, snacks, dinner, water, changes of clothes, and emergency lollipops to prevent meltdowns in the car, among other things). I was stressed and cranky by the time we got into the car. The list of things to remember felt overwhelming, and I couldn't shake the anxiety that I'd forgotten something.

When we finally got to the shore, I had moments when I was able to enjoy myself: when my 2-year-old ran toward low tide squealing with excitement, and when my 6-year-old held a fist-size snail I found in a tide pool. But mostly I resented serving as the point person for everything. I wanted to be along for the ride, just like the rest of my family.

I know I'm not the only parent who feels like the family cruise director. So, are the more control-minded among us doomed to a life of irritated outings, or can we figure out how to enjoy ourselves too?