IT TAKES ALL SORTS

We've all seen the club runner, the beginner and the speed demon, but there are many other types of runner out there. In fact, our sport has a welcome for just about everyone

-  John Carroll mana

01. The pram runners

The pram is by Maserati, while the runners' kit is by whatever was in Vogue this month. His hair is as shiny and well groomed as the coat of a pampered seal. She has a ponytail that does not move, because it has been told not to. At parkruns, these two glide by ordinary runners and do not seem to breathe. The baby in the pram is for ballast, and may not be looked upon until a non-disclosure agreement is signed, for it is surprisingly ugly. There may be a dog attached to the pram by a string of pearls. It has a short, reddish-brown coat and the proud bearing of a minor tyrant.

02. The ultrarunners

These folk have run 40 kays this morning; but still they smile, for they have run 40 kays. They wear little gear because there is not much of them to cover - ultrarunners are made from long strands of muscle and tendons that sound like the E string on a violin when plucked. Ultrarunners have a dog-eared first edition of Tim Noakes' The Lore of Running, which they will insist on swearing upon if ever called to give evidence in court. If you tell an ultrarunner you have run three marathons, the response will be, "Today?"

03. The gnarly veteran