LOVE ACTUALLY
CLEO Malaysia|March - April 2020
It’s 2020 so we think about all the different ways relationships can take shape.
LINA ESA

Meeting people, sustaining connections and just trying to keep up with the dating game can be extra exhausting in this era. We’re time-poor, highpressure, and trying to text everyone back while keeping our own sanity in check. You have to admit that our world has changed so much because of our lifestyles, the way we use our phones to interact with people — it ’s bound to affect how we network, and build relationships and friendships. It ’s not just us, even the experts say so! Violet Lim, CEO & Co-Founder of Lunch Actually Group says that the advent of dating apps have thinned our attention, for sure. “Dating apps give singles what we call ‘the paradox of choice’. When we have too many choices, we tend to have analysis paralysis and end up not making any choice!” she says. Because we wanted to know more about love in the coming decade, we also spoke to Jasmine King, Sex Positive Advocate who answers questions about new forms of relationships and letting go in order to fully accept the love you deserve.

Hi Jasmine! Can you talk to us about healthy boundaries in a monogamous relationship?

Jasmine King (JK): When we think about boundaries in a relationship, we think about how negative or unnecessary it is , it ’s actually not. In fact, all healthy relationships have boundaries. Boundaries are important to create because it is a sign of respect for one another and knowing that at the end of the day, both of you are individuals with your own tolerances and expectations. When boundaries are established and respected by both parties, you will be more happy and content in your relationship. Here are just a few suggestions based on different scenarios.

Settling a disagreement: If your partner needs space to process their emotions, that ’s a boundary you need to respect — even if you’re the type that wants to talk through it. So establishing what to do when you’re both mad or what you need when you’re sad or emotional is important so both of you feel supported and heard.

What you do on your alone time

No matter how close you are, both of you are still individuals. A healthy relationship is when either one of you can come and go freely and be with whoever you so please — like family and friends. If you feel trapped where you’re constantly bombarded with texts and phone calls asking where you are and who you’re with, then you need to talk about creating that healthy boundary or re-examine whether this is the relationship you want.

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