Learn to believe in yourself

Confidence is ultimately about trusting yourself – the root word actually means to trust, according to psychologist and coach Nova Cobban. ‘That explains why some confident people also seem quiet – it’s not about enjoying the spotlight or being loud and extroverted,’ she explains.

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‘Confidence is more about being highly attuned to yourself and having total trust in yourself. Confident people are recognisable by their complete comfort with who they are. They have a strong internal sense of self-worth, built through learning how to trust themselves.’

Accordingly, people with a high degree of self-trust are more likely to:

● Make clear decisions
● Bring others with them on their journey
● Listen to other people’s opinions (because it doesn’t threaten them to do so)
● Be self-aware – including towards their own shortcomings
● Feel okay with vulnerability
● Be honest, open, and reliable

So, what’s really going on at a psychological level when we feel lacking in confidence? ‘If confidence is a high level of self-trust, then lacking in confidence is lacking in self-trust,’ says Cobban. ‘This is a behavioural pattern that is built up over time, often stemming from events in childhood where our self-esteem has been undermined, or where we haven’t been around people and environments that have supported us to build up a healthy sense of self-worth.’