Learn to believe in yourself

Confidence is ultimately about trusting yourself – the root word actually means to trust, according to psychologist and coach Nova Cobban. ‘That explains why some confident people also seem quiet – it’s not about enjoying the spotlight or being loud and extroverted,’ she explains.

‘Confidence is more about being highly attuned to yourself and having total trust in yourself. Confident people are recognisable by their complete comfort with who they are. They have a strong internal sense of self-worth, built through learning how to trust themselves.’

Accordingly, people with a high degree of self-trust are more likely to:

● Make clear decisions
● Bring others with them on their journey
● Listen to other people’s opinions (because it doesn’t threaten them to do so)
● Be self-aware – including towards their own shortcomings
● Feel okay with vulnerability
● Be honest, open, and reliable

So, what’s really going on at a psychological level when we feel lacking in confidence? ‘If confidence is a high level of self-trust, then lacking in confidence is lacking in self-trust,’ says Cobban. ‘This is a behavioural pattern that is built up over time, often stemming from events in childhood where our self-esteem has been undermined, or where we haven’t been around people and environments that have supported us to build up a healthy sense of self-worth.’