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Can you jinx happiness?

Psychologies UK

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July 2023

Engage in some gentle self-reflection to cultivate a healthier mindset and free yourself from the fear of embracing a life of joy, writes Yasmina Floyer

- Yasmina Floyer

Can you jinx happiness?

Sure, the sighting of a lone magpie has never been a comfort to me, and, as far as I'm concerned, black cats always have right of way, but I'd never considered myself to be particularly superstitious. On closer inspection, however, I've realised this not to be the case. Living with anxiety - and its sidekick panic - means that, at times of stress, it can take a lot for me to dial down my internal threat monitor. An ache in my chest from a workout class quickly escalates into me believing I have a heart condition. With effort, I can get back to a place where an ache is simply an ache, but I realised recently that I don't actually know how to enjoy uncomplicated happiness - I need to think there is something a little bit wrong all of the time. Feeling too happy makes me scared, somehow, as though happiness can be jinxed.

I recently connected with Dr Kirren Shnack, clinical psychologist and author of Ten Times Calmer (Bluebird, £16.99, out 14 September), in which she shares her top ten techniques for dealing with anxiety, based on the latest scientific evidence, clinical guidance, and her professional experience. She also shares insights gained from working with patients who grapple with the belief that they may 'jinx' their happiness. She tells me, "The expression "It's too good to be true" perfectly captures the fear of jinxing. I've witnessed this phenomenon occur during moments of peak happiness, such as buying a house or landing a dream job. This type of anxiety can prevent people from fully enjoying positive experiences. The belief in jinxing yourself might make you constantly worry and imagine the worst things happening if you express positivity, as if it's tempting fate. This can be driven by a need for perfection, and a desire to avoid disappointment.'

Expert advice.

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