MAKE PEACE WITH FOOD

Thankfully, relatively few of us will ever have an eating disorder. But many, many more engage in disordered eating and struggle with the shame, remorse, and unhealthy habits that often come with it. There is a happier path, however, one that lets you eat to nurture your body and soul without being preoccupied by guilt and weight anxiety. Here's what to know.

- BY STEPHANIE DOLGOFF

If you have ever had a meal with a preschooler, you know it's worlds away from how adults eat.

You'll put out some pasta, broccoli, and pieces of grapes, then maybe step away to answer a call.

When you come back, half the pasta and all the broccoli is in the child (except one floret stuck into a penne tube to make a tree), and the grape bits, having been deemed “yucky,” are smushed into the table.

Left to their own devices, little kids will usually eat what appeals to them until they are no longer hungry. Even when offered ice cream or cookies, kids often stop mid-bite if they're full. Then they're bored and want to go back to dumping LEGOs on the floor for you to step on.

Here's what they never do: choose blueberries when they want a banana because blueberries have a lower glycemic index. They don't think, I shouldn’t have this french fry because I sat and colored instead of going to Tumbling Tots. They definitely don't eat to the point of discomfort because their “eating window” closes at 7 p.m. and they can’t have food again until noon the next day. In the years before diet and wellness culture muscles its way between them and their innate ability to eat according to what their bodies need, they do so based on what's available, what looks good, and how hungry they are.

But sooner or later—certainly by the time they're old enough to absorb the myriad health and food messages flying by, including ads for everything from powdered cow's colostrum to twofers at the Cheesecake Factory—these instincts get crowded out. That's often when things begin to warp.

Becoming unbalanced