Embrace Alone Time

Doing things solo is empowering, once you get over the discomfort factor.

- BY GINA WAY

If you've ever walked into a restaurant and asked for a table for one, how did it make you feel? And if you haven't, perhaps you think it would be hard.

For some people eating alone in public sounds like a peaceful treat, while others might see it as an awkward scenario that would have them racing right out the imaginary door.

Both reactions are understandable. But even if it doesn't feel true when you think about it, doing things in your own company, from checking out a new museum to embarking on a trip, has benefits that make up for possibly feeling intimidated. Solitude (as distinguished from isolation) has been shown to bolster creativity, and research suggests that “choosing to spend time alone doing things you enjoy lowers stress levels and activates 'low-arousal emotions' like feeling calm, relaxed, and content,” says Virginia Thomas, Ph.D., an assistant professor of psychology at Middlebury College in Vermont. “This allows us to reconnect with ourselves and recharge, and it can also benefit our relationships because we reenter them feeling restored and more emotionally available.”

Some people may worry that doing things on their own will make them feel lonely—and feeling socially isolated is linked with physical and mental health issues. But loneliness and isolation aren't the same thing as intentional “me time.” Psychologists call it “positive solitude” when you're making the choice to be alone, and it's beneficial both cognitively and emotionally.

As with any habit, it can take some practice to feel natural doing things without others, and in the beginning you may still have anxious thoughts like, Everyone definitely thinks I have no friends. (Have you ever thought that about people you see by themselves?