MILLENNIALS: WHERE ARE THEY NOW?

Fame is fickle, and no one knows this better than millennials. Once, they were everywhere—in television laugh tracks for “The Big Bang Theory,” in breathless think pieces about social-media narcissism, and acting the fool in 360p YouTube comedy videos. Then—poof! Gone like yesterday’s avocado toast.

- BY ALEX BAIA

Here at BuzzCrunch, we once published more than seventy-five millennial-related listicles per hour. Now no one cares about millennials or thinks about them at all. Crazy, right? But what happened to these millennials who once lived large in our hearts and in our online conversations? We’ve hunted them down for old times’ sake.

Many of them are dead.

Millennials are now very, very, very old. Although some of them are desperately hanging on to life, trapped in cubicles and still trying to pay off their grad-school loans, lots of millennials are now retired or expired. In fact, the oldest living millennial is more than a hundred years old. Time marches on! And, while everyone else was distracted by pandemics and politics and TikTok, the cold, skeletal hand of time pulled the millennials into the abyss. Oh, snap! (That’s something millennials used to shout when they were still capable of sassy, youthful excitement.)

A lot of them are stuck in limbo on dating apps.