A few months ago I read a report online about sexual abuse in hospitals. According to data obtained by the Freedom of Information, there have been 6,500 reports of sexual assault and rape that have allegedly taken place in England and Wales since 2019. I was disgusted and horrified, but not shocked. Because it happened to me. When I was a patient in hospital, I’d thought I was safe. I’d thought I was in a place that was caring, compassionate and somewhere that I could recover without fear. But I was very wrong.
In April 2017, I was suffering from depression. Having lost my father to cancer the previous December, juggling being a single mum to two teenagers, Sarah* and Adam*, plus moving to the UK, I’d not been there to say goodbye to him and it really affected my mental health.
I’d been a nurse in my home country – caring for patients in both hospitals and private homes – and since moving to the UK, I’d taken on multiple different jobs to help make ends meet, including waitressing and cleaning.
But suddenly, grief started consuming me. I knew I needed help but with no friends or family to turn to, I felt desperate.
In a fog of depression, I self-harmed. Afterwards I remember sinking to the floor and sobbing. The next day, I told my daughter what I’d done.
Sarah and I went to hospital with my vision just a blur of shadows.
Doctors explained that in my attempt to harm myself I’d damaged my eyesight, but they were hopeful my eyes would heal and my vision would return to normal.
Horrific ordeal
I was prescribed drops, antibiotics and steroids, and thankfully there was no pain, and while things looked blurry, I could still make out words and recognise faces.
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