RICHARD IRVINE

DOUBLE TROUBLE FOR A FIRST TIME DAD OF TWINS Emma would like to keep mum over the existence of her dad

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"Can you park away as far away as possible?" Emma politely requested from the back seat of the car.

"I'd rather stop as close to make the process quicker," I replied, spotting a space and pouncing before another parent grabbed it. It's dog eat dog outside school, and not a time to be indecisive.

To prevent illegal parking, there's a man in a hi-vis jacket with 'traffic manager' written on the back, equipped with a camera and notepad, recording any parents not playing by the rules. I suspect it's the school janitor, and it's unclear where the information goes, although the shame of being recorded is enough for me.

Thankfully, we were in the clear with this morning's spot, and Emma jumped out, sprinting ahead to put some distance between us.