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EFFIGIES OF ME
The New Yorker
|November 24, 2025
There is a big demand these days for effigies of me, and I’m happy to report that we now offer two different versions for purchase.
The first is the standard, “classic” effigy of me, suitable for hanging from a tree limb or a scaffold. This effigy can also be dragged behind a horse. It is durable enough to withstand at least ten hangings or five horse-draggings. The classic effigy comes with a free hangman's noose or lasso.
The second effigy of me is designed for burning at the stake. Of course, this effigy can be used only once, but it has a hardwood skeleton, which burns more slowly than the cloth-and-paper “flesh.”
We are pleased to announce the addition of a new feature: an embedded audio recording of my actual voice, telling the onlookers that I curse them and will see them in Hell.
Esta historia es de la edición November 24, 2025 de The New Yorker.
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