يحاول ذهب - حر

EFFIGIES OF ME

November 24, 2025

|

The New Yorker

There is a big demand these days for effigies of me, and I’m happy to report that we now offer two different versions for purchase.

- BY JACK HANDEY

EFFIGIES OF ME

The first is the standard, “classic” effigy of me, suitable for hanging from a tree limb or a scaffold. This effigy can also be dragged behind a horse. It is durable enough to withstand at least ten hangings or five horse-draggings. The classic effigy comes with a free hangman's noose or lasso.

The second effigy of me is designed for burning at the stake. Of course, this effigy can be used only once, but it has a hardwood skeleton, which burns more slowly than the cloth-and-paper “flesh.”

We are pleased to announce the addition of a new feature: an embedded audio recording of my actual voice, telling the onlookers that I curse them and will see them in Hell.

المزيد من القصص من The New Yorker

The New Yorker

The New Yorker

Amanda Petrusich on Katy Grannan's Photograph of Taylor Swift

There’s something uncanny about this still and stunning portrait of a twenty-one-year-old Taylor Swift, shot by Katy Grannan for Lizzie Widdicombe’s Profile of the singer, in 2011.

time to read

1 mins

January 12, 2026

The New Yorker

The New Yorker

DEAL-BREAKER

Pam is seeing someone, but she’s not talking about it.

time to read

19 mins

January 12, 2026

The New Yorker

THE OTHER BOOMERS

Kathryn Bigelow, the director, and Alexandra Bell, the arms-control expert, are both nuclear-attack-submarine literate. Bigelow—whose new Netflix film, “A House of Dynamite,” imagines the U.S. government’s response to an incoming intercontinental ballistic missile (ICBM) eighteen minutes from impact—shot part of her 2002 submarine film, entitled “K-19:

time to read

3 mins

January 12, 2026

The New Yorker

The New Yorker

THE MUSICAL LIFE BROADWAY BABY

At Joe’s Pizza on Carmine Street, Marc Shaiman, the celebrated composer and lyricist, dropped his slice on the floor. “Ugh, it’s the Shaiman vortex,” he said. “Everything I come near breaks.”

time to read

3 mins

January 12, 2026

The New Yorker

The New Yorker

NOTORIOUS M.T.G.

Marjorie Taylor Greene and Donald Trump break up over Epstein.

time to read

26 mins

January 12, 2026

The New Yorker

The New Yorker

YES, AND?

How consent can—and cannot—help us have better sex.

time to read

14 mins

January 12, 2026

The New Yorker

The New Yorker

LET IT BLEED

When Helen Frankenthaler remade painting.

time to read

5 mins

January 12, 2026

The New Yorker

The New Yorker

THE AMERICAN POPE

How the Chicago-born Robert Prevost became Leo XIV.

time to read

32 mins

January 12, 2026

The New Yorker

The New Yorker

DEPT. OF RECYCLING SWIPE OUT

In 1994, when the MetroCard made Its 22, many straphangers were reluctant to say farewell to the subway token. Across the city, commuters struggled to master \"the swipe.

time to read

2 mins

January 12, 2026

The New Yorker

THE TALK OF THE TOWN

Easily missed on the back side of the November ballots that brought Zohran Mamdani to Gracie Mansion was a proposal for a new map of New York City.

time to read

4 mins

January 12, 2026

Listen

Translate

Share

-
+

Change font size