"Caregivers are never really alone!"

Award-winning actress and advocate Bellamy Young, 55, known for her portrayal of Mellie Grant on Scandal, silently carried a burden of shame, guilt and regret while caring for her father as he battled alcoholism and cirrhosis. Then she discovered a secret superpower that filled her heart with peace

- Gina Roberts-Grey

This is just a bump in the road, Bellamy Young told herself as she made up another excuse for why a friend couldn't come visit her home. The truth was, Bellamy—then a teen—was helping her mother care for her father while the family watched him pain-fully slip away. Years of trying to hide his battle with alcoholism colored Bellamy's childhood and teen years with shame and guilt as she struggled to understand her dad's addiction, which led to a cir-rhosis diagnosis and permanent liver dam-age. Here, Bellamy shares in her own words how, years after caretaking then losing her father, she finally overcame the haunting feelings of regret and healed her heart.

"As a kid, instead of hosting sleepovers at my house, there was a hospital bed in the middle of our living room with my ill dad clinging to life, lying in it. So as a teen, going on dates or to football games all felt a bit fatuous as resentment swelled in me about my dad's health.

"Of course, I deeply loved my father, and Iwas Daddy's little girl, but my dad was a drinker, which led to the cirrhosis diagnosis.

It was hard and confusing. I saw everyone drink socially. I also knew my dad drank at home by himself too. And because there wasn’t a comfortable, open dialogue about alcoholism—and the mere mention of it would spark critical whispers in a corner—I, along with my mom, insulated myself by silencing my voice. As long as I ie my dad’s alco-holism in a locked box and didn’t talk about his drinking, I thought the world would see us as the ‘perfect family’ everybody strives for. I didn’t realize no family is perfect.

Learning to cope

"The silence became deafening when my dad's demeanor started to change and he grew frustrated and angry. He was an accountant and lost control of numbers, and once, he even forgot how to get home from the building where he'd worked for 25 years.