The pain of getting a more exciting offer'

I was raised with a simple rule: when you accept an invitation, you honour it. Whether it's a childhood birthday party or a casual coffee date, the first invitation you accept is the one that holds weight. It's a bit like fidelity – if you commit to someone, you try to follow through.

- ZOE WEST

But as the kids have flown the nest and life becomes busier with social invitations, there's more opportunities for double booking, and I've often found myself caught in the classic social conundrum: what happens when a more enticing invitation arrives after you've already committed to another?

This weekend, for instance, I have a 50th birthday party in my diary, but a close friend is also hosting an intimate gathering. Would I be missed at the bigger party? In this situation I'm attending the bigger party for an hour and then moving on to the smaller one. But, it's not always that simple.