Take control of JEALOUSY for GOOD

Does it sting when others have it all? Here's how to conquer the secret green-eyed monster lurking inside

- DEBRA WATERS

49% of Brits admit to feeling envious of their neighbours' perfectly pruned gardens, their outdoor furniture (48%) or size of their outside space (43%), found a study by Taskrabbit.

Why is it that come spring your lawn is an eyesore covered in leaves and moss, yet your neighbour has perfectly regimented lines ready for al fresco entertaining? And while you worked for more years than them, their pension pot seems to be twice the size of yours, funding their weekend breaks and seemingly effortless lifestyle. The trouble with jealousy is that even if you've done well in life, someone else's beautiful house, stellar career, adoring partner, successful kids or impossibly toned body can irk. Yes, the grass does seem so much greener.

Being envious of others can often feel like a dirty little secret because it's a difficult emotion to admit to — it doesn't exactly show us in a good light. But it can also be an exhausting one. Constantly bubbling under the surface, we either desperately try to keep up with the Joneses, which more often than not leads to us feeling unsatisfied, or we use effort trying to keep a lid on our resentment.

'Jealousy among friends often stems from feeling as though someone else has something we lack,' explains Dr Léa Beretti, a clinical psychologist and director of Beretti Therapy*. 'These comparisons may trigger fears of being “less than” or being “left behind”.'

Yes, we care about our friends, says Dr Beretti, but we may also resent the very things we admire about them. This can result in a sort of cognitive dissonance, where we want the best for the people we love, while simultaneously struggling to be truly happy about their accomplishments, or what feels to us like 'lucky breaks'.

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