WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE A FUNCTIONING ALCOHOLIC

It took Louise Muir-Sage, 44, two decades to realise she needed to stop drinking

- RACHEL TOMPKINS, LIZ PERKINS

Standing in the kitchen in my short-sleeved yellow satin blouse as the Spice Girls blared from the stereo, I saw my friends sipping White Lightning cider and reached for a can. ‘Try it, you'll soon get used to the taste,’ my friend laughed. As the bitterness reached my tastebuds I winced, but I carried on, keen to fit in.

It was 1997 and I was 15 years old and at a house party with school friends. Quiet, studious and hard-working, I longed to be accepted, and I felt like joining in with the drinking was one way to do that.

Later, stumbling back to my friend’s house tipsy, giggly and totally carefree, I felt so happy. I knew my dad and stepmum, who I lived with, would be furious at the state I was in.

But I loved the buzz that alcohol had given me and after that, I longed for that feeling of happiness and confidence. So any opportunity to drink, I did. And I'd drink so much, I'd often end up throwing up. I just thought it was all part of the fun, and eventually began to build up a bit more of a tolerance for booze. But that just meant drinking more in order to get that giddy, happy feeling I craved.

STUDYING SUFFERED

By the time I was 18, and actually legally able to drink, I was out four nights a week, downing about 40 drinks a week. Studying for my A-levels, I went out with friends and the hangovers the following day always meant that I struggled to make lectures. ‘My head hurts,’ I'd groan to my housemates when they went off to classes. My attendance was so bad, I ended up dropping out in my second year.