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THE FAMILY YOU CHOOSE

WOMAN'S OWN

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June 09, 2025

To celebrate National Best Friends Day on 8 June, we take a look at some strong, life-changing bonds

- FRANCES LEATE

THE FAMILY YOU CHOOSE

I don't remember life without her’

Julie Abernethy, 55, lives in Dorset. I can just about recall building sandcastles with Katie, then three, at nursery school and even back then, she was much cooler than me. Gregarious and sociable, she had lots of friends, while I was much quieter, but that didn't stop us forming a close friendship. We lived a short walk away from each other in Northern Ireland and when we started school, she'd call for me every morning. Aged six, tragedy struck when I lost my mum, who was just 36, to lymphoma, followed by my dad, who died in a car accident months later.

Life as I knew it changed forever as my maternal grandmother took over, but Katie was there too, another much-needed constant in my life.

imageSPECIAL CONNECTION

At school, we'd always sit together and, as I struggled with spelling, she'd let me copy her work during tests so that we'd both pass. I was always envious of Katie's cool clothes - a tomboy, she'd often be dressed in a pair of dungarees or brown cords, while Granny insisted that I wore a girly dress with long socks. We must have looked so different, but we couldn't have been closer.

As teenagers, while Katie went out with friends and started taking an interest in boys and make-up, I was forced to stay home, being from a much stricter family. But it didn't stop us meeting up round each other's houses to giggle and gossip.

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