FROM HEAVEN, WITH LOVE

Kirsten Clawson, 47, reveals that her husband made good on his dying promise

- LUCY LAING, JOHANNA BELL

Holding my husband Cody’s hand, I looked into his eyes, tears streaming. It was December 2020 and just four years earlier, I’d done the same as we stood at the altar in front of friends and family and said our vows to be husband and wife. Now we were having a very different conversation and it was the hardest I’d ever had to have. Cody was in a hospital bed, dying from leukaemia, and as I asked him questions, I felt numb with grief. ‘What do you want my future to look like?’ I asked him. ‘Do you want me to marry again?’ It was so painful, but I needed to know.

‘Yes,’ he whispered. ‘I’m going to get to the other side and find you a family that needs you.’

More tears came, of grief, of love and of sheer disbelief. It was only in April 2020 when Cody had complained of an earache that our lives were thrown completely off course. What followed was a whirlwind of tests, a devastating diagnosis, chemo and medical trials.

None of it worked and now I had to think of a future without him. We spoke more while we had the chance, and I promised Cody that I’d keep his girls, aged 17 and 19, in my life.

Unable to have kids of my own, I adored them and knew it would mean a lot to Cody that we remained in each other’s lives, even though I’d only known them a few short years. Days later, on 5 December 2020, Cody’s breathing weakened. His favourite football team was playing, so I put the match on and sat beside him, stroking his face.

‘It’s OK to go,’ I whispered. Cody took a big breath, let it out slowly, then stopped, leaving me a widow at age 43.

A BLEAK FUTURE