Tonight with DEREK AND DIANNE

Were the couple hiding something? Jenny was on a mission to find out

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Are you new?’ Jenny clutched her clipboard to her chest so the man addressing her couldn’t see that it had nothing on it.

‘I just started today.’

‘Runner, eh?’”

Jenny nodded. The man in the headphones grunted. ‘And they put you on this show? Someone doesn't like you’.

Very carefully, so he wouldn’t notice, Jenny slid one hand into her pocket and switched on her tiny recorder. ‘What do you mean? Doesn’t everyone want to work on Tonight with Derek and Dianne?’

‘The man snorted. ‘A word of advice. Keep your head down, jump when told to jump, don’t look Dianne in the eye, especially the left one, and never, ever get caught ina room alone with Derek. Got that?’”

Jenny nodded. Then, remembering her recording, said in aloud voice, "Yes, I’ve got that.’

‘All right. I’m Reg, the floor manager, and if you're arunner, you can run and fetch me some coffee.’ He turned from her and pulled down the microphone attached to his headphones. ‘OK, people, into positions.”

All around them, men and women, most of them carrying clipboards, moved rapidly to where they needed to be for the start of broadcasting.

A breathless young man rushed up.

“Bad news, Reg. We've lost the axe murderer. Prison riot.’

Reg swore, considered, then barked again into his headphones. ‘Listen up, everyone. The axe murderer's been chopped. We go with Bug Girl first, and bring Vegetable Lady back. You...”

Jenny jumped when she realised he was talking to her again.

‘Go and tell Derek and Dianne the Killer interview’s off and Bug Girl got moved up the running order. Now!’ He stalked off.

The young man who had broken the news about the missing murderer grinned. ‘Good luck with that,’ he said, then he too ran off.

Without any warning, there was an explosion of light overhead, and there ahead of her, at the centre of the illumination, was the famous red sofa. And sitting on it - Derek and Dianne.