Raising teenagers USING SMARTER CONSEQUENCES

If confiscating devices or grounding them isn't working, you're not alone! Clinical psychologist Dr Jari Evertsz has the solution on what to do instead

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Welcome to the world of parenting a teenager. They're fabulous, aren't they? That is until they do something so out there that you feel action really needs to happen. In my clinical practice, I've often heard parents say that they have to take some kind of step. And they feel they should take away something. The most obvious thing to remove is an electronic device or going-out privileges and the angrier the parent feels, the longer they are confiscated for!

What's wrong with that?

• It’s often a knee-jerk reaction. With teens, you don't have to react in the moment. Giving yourself some more time to consider your options is far preferable.

• Your response might arise from exasperation and a state of anger.

• That’s just going to cause an escalation with raised voices and generally worse feelings all around.

• Repeating this set of consequences doesn’t really teach the child very much — it’s more of a simple focus on punishment.

WHAT MIGHT BE MORE HELPFUL?