ROMANTIC LOVE FOR FRIENDS

It’s not that we don’t feel deep love for friends; it’s just that we don’t always feel comfortable expressing it. When I did a talk on how to make friends at work, I asked the audience to write down something positive they feel for a friend that they have yet to tell them.

- MARISA FRANCO

The responses poured in: “I want to tell my friend how much she has inspired me all these years of us being friends,” “I want to tell my friends that they’ve made me a better person,” “I hope my friend realizes what a beautiful soul she has,” and “I hear your smile through the phone. It makes my day.” I felt bittersweet for my audience: sweet because of their love, but bitter because it was yet unsaid.

Why do we go mum about our love toward friends? We just don’t get the same permission to express it as we do for our spouses. Hallmark cards, love letters, and physical touch: In the US, so many earmarks of affection are confined to our spouses, although they need not be. For our significant others, we have anniversaries, Valentine’s Day, and wedding vows to impart our love. For friends, well, there’s International Friendship Day, but no one’s heard of it (it’s July 30). Its notoriety may rival Measure Your Feet Day (January 23) or National Garlic Day (April 19).