GOING VIRAL

Diary of a disastrous MALWARE ATTACK, 2006 style

- Phil Iwaniuk

It’s 7pm on a hazy June evening in my atrocious student house. Supercharged by a diet rich in Tangfastics and a supermarket Red Bull alternative, we spent the first part of the evening playing a particularly destructive indoor cricket match. But now it’s time for us all to settle down and write the personal and academic development essays we’ve been putting off for 11 months. The deadline is, after all, tomorrow.

7.15pm. Hmm. Need For Speed: Most Wanted was running a bit slow just then during my pre-essay warmup car chase. And I don’t remember quite this much pornography being on my desktop, browser homepage and bookmarks. It’s probably nothing. Better get on with that essay.

7.28pm. Yep, something’s definitely not right with Need For Speed. It wasn’t struggling that much to render all the spoilers on my Audi TT last night. Something’s definitely not right. I should write that essay though.

8.45pm: No, we all did the right thing there. We were all too amped up on taurine to concentrate on our essays and to be fair that second game of indoor cricket did help to disperse some of that energy. I feel ready now, though. Ready to write a bloody good essay. Let’s do it. Let’s write an essay.

8.46pm: Oh right, yeah. My computer’s knackered.

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