He was not born to us, we parted, but this child enriched our lives

To be a foster parent is not easy. Parting may be inevitable. But it teaches you the meaning of unconditional love.

- Tan Kok Yang

On a very sunny afternoon I stood in the basement of a mall, staring at a fountain, with a little boy nearly exactly 50 years younger. The age gap mattered not that day because the water held our attention. J was standing on an elevation in front of me and I had my arms around him and we were having some quality time together.

It was just the two of us; an opportunity to spend this one-on-one time with my foster son J had arisen. The sight and sound of flowing water had always been a source of joy and comfort for J, who was three years old, going on four. The overflowing dishes at the top of the fountain caught his attention. "There is so much water, right?", he exclaimed, excitedly watching the thin glistening streams of overflowing water that he had grown to love so much.

That Saturday afternoon, we went from the basement fountain to another one at the street level. As we walked, his little hand would instinctively reach out for mine. We stood side by side and enjoyed the spectacle of gushing water. It was truly a special time.

After that, we spent some time with toys at a shop and I was tickled at what stories he could create about them; then we went to a restaurant for dinner. He asked me to sit beside him.

As we waited for the food, we chatted about the fountains and we played the "Guess which hand?" game. Our laughter flowed easily. People at adjacent tables looked at us curiously but that didn't bother us.

I made faces at him and goofed around with him in those few minutes. The serious surgeon in me, who demanded high standards from the people around me, was nowhere to be found. J's infectious smile soon caught the attention of some waiters and they couldn't resist bantering with him. They even brought him toys to play with.

Then a profound sadness came over me. This would be the last time I was taking J out as a foster father to him.

FOSTERING - THE BEGINNING