Cancer survivor cares for special needs son full time

Dad quits job to care for son with muscular dystrophy

- Venessa Lee

When Mr Ben Phua, 69, takes a bus with Zai Quan, 14, strangers sometimes compliment the boy's striking eyes and thick lashes.

"They say Zai Quan is so handsome and they ask, 'Is this your grandson?' I say, 'No, this is my son," he says.

The divorced retiree is the sole caregiver of his only child, who was born with an extra chromosome, resulting in multiple disabilities. While Zai Quan can walk, he is non-verbal and relies on his father for everyday activities.

Mr Phua never intended to get married, much less become a father. Looking for love was a luxury for the bachelor, who worked long hours as a building technician, among other roles. In his spare time, he upgraded himself through night classes at the former Vocational and Industrial Training Board.

At his mother's behest, he married a 26-year-old Chinese national in 2009 within weeks of being introduced to her. He was 53.

The couple were blindsided when their baby was born with special needs in November 2010, he says. The doctor had not alerted them to any abnormalities.

The stress of raising Zai Quan created a rift in their marriage and his former wife left their marital home several times over the years. Their divorce was finalised in May 2020 and Mr Phua had sole custody of their then 10-year-old son.

He quit his job as a mechanical and engineering site supervisor in the construction industry to take care of his son in late 2019. Six months later, he had to undergo surgery for Stage 2 prostate cancer.

Unhappy with his domestic helper's quarrelsome ways, he let her go in 2021 and took over caring for Zai Quan full time in their three-room flat in Ang Mo Kio.

Their daily routine is simple but stressful, Mr Phua says.

Zai Quan tends to wake up late if he has trouble sleeping. So, Mr Phua feeds the boy a cup of Milo in between getting him ready to board the school bus to Minds Fernvale Gardens School in the late morning.