TO SURVIVE THE HEAT WAVE FOLLOW THE SCIENCE OF STAYING COOL

Ah, summer in the Philippines — or should I say, the "dry season"? Let's face it: our habit of calling March to May "summer" is as accurate as calling a jeepney a spaceship.

- WILSON LEE FLORES

I theorize this is a vestige of our American colonial mindset, where we subliminally adopted the four-season calendar despite the reality of our sun-kissed archipelago, which really only has two seasons: dry and wet. (Though I'd argue we have a third: the world's longest Christmas season, stretching from September to December, aka the glorious "Ber" months.)

But no matter what we call this season, one thing is undeniable: it's hot. Scorchingly, sweat-drippingly, melt-your-Halo-Halo hot! And with climate change turning up the planetary thermostat, it's only getting hotter.

So, how do we survive this heat wave without morphing into puddles of perspiration, apart from the government occasionally and mercifully declaring "No Classes" in schools?

Fear not, dear reader, for I bring you a mix of practical tips, scientific wisdom, and a dash of my wild imagination to keep you cool, collected, and maybe even a little whimsical.

Hydrate Like a Chinese Sage (Not a Frat Bro).

Let's start with the obvious: drink water. But not just any water—skip the iced water, iced tea, and soft drinks. Iced water shocks your system, and soft drinks? They're basically liquid sugar with a side of regret.

Instead, take a cue from ancient Chinese tradition: sip warm or hot tea. Green tea, in particular, is a rejuvenating elixir that cools you from the inside out. It's like your body's own air conditioner, minus the electricity bill.

And no, cold beer doesn't count. Alcohol dehydrates you faster than a cactus in the Sahara!

Revive the Salakot: Fashion Meets Function.

Remember the salakot, those iconic wide-brimmed hats handwoven from nipa or other local materials? I'm reminded of this old, bygone tradition thanks to 86-year-old Kamuning Bakery Cafe's yummy classic Kababayan bread, shaped like a salakot.