The Toughest Truths You Learn In Love

Everything is a learning experience. Relationships are especially full of things to learn.

- By Patricia Manarang

You either learn things about yourself, about your partner, or just about life in general. We asked people who have been in varying lengths of relationships: What’s the toughest thing you’ve had to learn? (Note: Aliases have been used in place of the interviewee’s real names.)

Less Than a Year: Margot

Even if Margot has been in her current relationship for less than a year, she carries over the lessons she’s learned from her previous ones. “Love doesn’t have qualifications. This goes two ways: there’s no guarantee that you’ll be loved just because you’ve done your best as a partner, and you don’t have to be perfect to be loved.”

Margot says that even when she put effort into her earlier relationships and believed she was a good girlfriend, they still ended up cheating on her or leaving her. “No matter how ‘great’ I can be as a partner and person, it’s never going to guarantee that someone will love me because, ultimately, it’s their choice and their feelings.”

She feels her current boyfriend helped her at her lowest. “He tells me it’s so easy to love me, and even if it becomes hard, he’ll try harder. It shocked me to hear that because I was so convinced that I was not worth anything.” She talks about how, despite her negative feelings towards herself, her partner still wants to be with her—a stark contrast to her previous relationship.

1 Year: Wanda and Ela