Letting Go of Life's To-Do List

When I was 12 and at the end of a "mutual understanding" that barely even began, I was nowhere near sad. I just thought to myself, "Surely by 16, by junior year, I'd have a boyfriend to take me to prom."

- By MAIA MARQUEZ

And while that wasn't true, that was my earliest memory of making myself life to-do lists and setting deadlines for them.

Four years later, prom season finally came, and while I had no boyfriend, I was sensing some interest from a guy from another school.

While he was nice and I enjoyed hanging out with him, the spark wasn't there. I asked him to prom, and after my mom met him when he picked me up, my mom told me in private, "No boyfriend muna, just wait until college."

And so I was convinced college would be the time for my love life to shine.

But that wasn't the case either.

I never really thought much of all these timings again until I was working my first job straight out of college. I'd found my footing in the company and was getting used to the nine-to-five grind, going with the flow as I waited to see where my career could take me. For the most part, I liked what I was doing and the team I was working with.

But the fresh graduate in me didn't know any better. I was under the perception that saying "yes" to whatever my bosses asked of me would help me get ahead, even if it meant role-hopping too often, without ever getting a real chance to hone what I came into the company for.

In 2019, after missing out on several rounds of biannual promotions—and for contradictory reasons from one round to the next—I became unmotivated and impatient. Even my manager seemed to be on my side and empathized with my confusion and frustration.