SILENCED WITH LOVE

It's still not women's day, at least not so when it comes to emotional and physical abuse in intimate relationships. As the institution of marriage changes to suit modern realities, something stays sticky, where women partners suffer trauma in newer ways. The silence of old patriarchal times has become deafeningly loud in counsellors' chambers now. Although society changes outwardly, it remains the same for women

- Srestha Sarkar

MARRIAGE is often a complex reality with women carrying most of the burden to navigate a space. where emotional abuse, control, and sometimes physical violence are normalised, endured, and negotiated quietly. Deeply rooted in patriarchal social structures, conventional gender norms and institutional expectations surrounding marriage, the conflict between a couple and the response of abuse becomes manufactured consent.

As the world changes, it remains the same. Modern Indian women are still being forced to deal with emotional abuse and physical assault from male partners in marriages and similar relationships. They are fighting legal battles, hoping for psychological understanding, facing social pressure to deal with the violence.

While there is improvement in their situation and there are many more support networks for them than earlier, the journey towards psychological and physical recovery is still ardous.

A deeper dive

Sociologist Pierre Bourdieu's concept of "symbolic violence" explains how individuals find it difficult to identify and move out of an abusive household. Symbolic violence refers to subtle forms of domination that are accepted as natural by those subjected to them. When women internalise the belief that enduring hardship is part of marriage, the power imbalance becomes self-sustaining.

An RJ from Delhi who was subjected to such a turbulent marriage confirms the theory. She said that she had lost a sense of agency while being subjected to constant abuse in the marriage. "My parents and inlaws expected me to remain silent, often stating that every marriage has certain problems that need to be worked on. More often than not I was made to feel that I was the problem...

I was overthinking and overreacting," she said.