At the table Sit back and take your sweet time at this Caribbean

Not to review one place by talking about another, but in the Amex desert of suburban Islington is a restaurant so improbable it might have opened by mistake.

- DAVID ELLIS RESTAURANT CRITIC

Homeowners in these parts subscribe to the Mindful Chef and understand hot Pilates; but the announcement of Goodbye Horses came with a picture of the chefs on horseback, pulling poses better suited to postcard smut or an indie album cover. Did they lose their way trying to make it to Clapton? The cellar is full of natural wine; shelves groan with vintage records; art is Cocteau-meets-Miro. They do things like kohlrabi oysters, goat's curd and marjoram - you know the type. It's four-shining-stars brilliant, but in acute need of cushions. Those seats. God. I imagine there are prison showers that are less painful.

The team should canter Ladbroke Grove way, to south London chef Dom Taylor's new Caribbean restaurant, Marvee's Food Shop. We slumped into chrome-tubed, black leather lobby chairs and sighed into sleepy, seraphic smiles. Surely somewhere in this room there's a seat with an inbuilt recliner? Some restaurants lay rigid slabs as seats in the hope uncomfortable customers will pay up quickly and make way for others. Marvee's named for Taylor's mother Marveline - might be inviting diners to stay the weekend.