The only thing that’s uniform is the utter chaos

It feels like summer is drawing to a close.

- Carrie Carlisle

All the usual signs are there: The air is chillier, with the scent of garden bonfires making itself known here and there.

The blazing sun is finally abating, having treated us to a good show of himself since at least May.

The seemingly endless holiday social gatherings have started to wind down.

And I am running around madly, like a poor man's “Challenge Anneka’ desperately trying to get my children’s Back To School gear in time.

Why do I always leave it until 72 hours before the first day of the school year, before deciding to finally get the Carlisle uniform show in the road?

I’m like every bloke I know on Christmas Eve. Sprinting through all quadrants of the Metrocentre. Diving into shops as swiftly and gracefully as a menopausal Tom Daley, emerging a minimum of £100 poorer each time.