My gut feeling is that I won't break my fast food habit

CULLERCOATS is a fine village for grub; its cafes and restaurants keep both locals and visitors happy as they do both gourmets and gourmands (the latter being more or less the opposite of the former in case it's a word new to you).

- Peter Mortimer

I have been accused of being a gourmand, but never of being a gourmet and understandably so. Nouvelle cuisine leaves me cold (a strange metaphor apologies). Its philosophy puts appearances on a par with taste and is thereby of little interest to a Hungry Horace such as myself.

Plus which, I eat very quickly. At the Mortimer household Christmas dinner, care had to be taken to serve me last, otherwise I would gobble down the entire meal while Big Papa Mort was still carving the turkey for the rest of the family.

This speed of eating led to my mum to claim (in sequence) 'Peter! You'll have an ulcer before the age of 30/40/50/60/70!'