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A soccer-savvy Trump? Leave it to his hologram

The Journal

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December 12, 2025

The phone rings.

- Peter Mortimer

Itis Trump.TRUMP: Is that Mortiboy?

ME: The name's Mortimer, actually

TRUMP: Sure. Now, this guy -Infantile, is it?

ME: I assume you are referring to Gianni Infantino, the FIFA president?

TRUMP: He gave me a Fifi peace medal.

ME: A what?

TRUMP: A Fifi peace medal, but I never got to meet Fifi. Who is that dame?

ME: I think you'll find it was the Fifa peace medal.

TRUMP: So there’s no Fifi?

ME: Afraid not. Why are you ringing me?

TRUMP: My contacts tell me you support Notts County.

ME: For my sins, yes.

TRUMP: They tell me it’s the oldest professional football club in the goddam world.

ME: Founded in 1862, yes.

TRUMP Gee, that’s erm...erm...(TRYING TO ADD UP)

ME: One hundred and sixty three years ago.

TRUMP: That makes you the oldest football supporter in the world.

ME: I wasn’t actually there for their first game.

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