THE PURSUIT OF LOVE

For Valentine’s Day, author Elizabeth Day and Married at First Sight’ expert Mel Schilling tell Olivia Petter about the common mistakes we are all guilty of making while dating

- Olivia Petter

There has never been a better time to teach people how to date. Just ask anyone who's single how things are going and listen to the diatribe that follows. It's not just that people are feeling fatigued by dating apps. Or that they've already exhausted all their mutual friends. It's not even that there's so much negativity around the dating experience and all it encompasses that it can feel impossible to find even the tiniest glimmer of hope. It’s none of that. Promise.

It’s actually just that looking for love is tough. And sure, certain things might make it feel harder than ever before: apps, social media, the cost of living crisis, the inexplicable proliferation of emotionally unavailable heterosexual men... to name but a few. But the core tenets of what makes dating difficult are the same: emotional investment, fear of heartbreak, and the risk of opening yourself up to someone new. No matter how secure we may be in our professional lives, or with our friends and family, dating has a way of bringing our innermost insecurities and vulnerabilities to the fore. And if you haven’t dealt with them yet, well, you’ll be in for one hell of a ride.

Thank goodness, then, for podcaster and author Elizabeth Day and dating coach Mel Schilling (of Married at First Sight fame), whose new podcast, How to Date, dives into the nuances of navigating the dating scene today, offering helpful tips and wisdom into everything from mastering the apps to meeting people in real life.

We spoke to both Day and Schilling to understand all the ways we might be going wrong in dating in 2025. Read their tips, take note, and date wisely this Valentine’s Day.

Over narrativising