I needed to stop pretending my disconnection was fine

This Loneliness Awareness Week, Radhika Sanghani shares how she realised that she was one of the 74 per cent of young adults suffering from loneliness - and what she did about it

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Are you lonely? If you are, can you admit it out loud?

When I was at my loneliest, I couldn’t. The thought of simply saying “I’m lonely” felt impossibly mortifying. I was in my late twenties – I was meant to be at my peak, living a life that older generations envied. Instead, I was the one who was jealous of my parents’ friends and their fulfilling social lives.

Back then, I was at a crossroads. I no longer had much in common with my childhood friends who were settling into marriage and motherhood, and the more time I spent around them - a group who were, incidentally, all very close to each other - the lonelier I felt. I had plenty of single acquaintances at work, but few of them had transitioned into close friends. And even though I had a diary full of weekday drinks and dinners, they didn’t give me the connection I was so deeply craving. Often, I’d get home feeling lonelier than before I'd left the house.

It turns out, ironically, that I’m not alone in my struggle. Young people aged between 16 and 34 are suffering more loneliness than those over 55, with 73.8 per cent saying they often feel lonely or feel lonely every day, according to the Opinion Exchange. Four in 10 living alone said they felt lonely, but 31 per cent who lived with housemates also felt lonely, as did 25 per cent of those who lived with family.

That is aligned with my experience: I could feel lonely both living alone and when I was living with housemates. The problem was not being surrounded by people - it was how connected (or disconnected) I felt to them. And unfortunately, connection was the one thing lacking from my social life.