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I've swiped away my dating apps-and life feels all the better for it
The Guardian Weekly
|June 21, 2024
Swipe. Swipe. Swipe. For a while I was swiping so much I was barely thinking. Dating apps had hijacked my fingers, brain and evenings. I'd swipe, mindlessly and without looking, under the table at group dinners or during TV ad breaks. "This is modern dating," I'd tell myself. "It's a job. I have to keep on going. This is the key to my happy ending."
For months, this was my normality. But the lifelong romance I was looking for never materialised. As I sat on my sofa on yet another night ready to swipe until I ran out of steam, I decided I'd had enough. Even if my screen was flooded with likes or messages, my forays into dating app culture had rarely ended with in-person dates. I'd spend hours agonising over a response - I needed to be funny, cool and captivating but not give too much away. But why was I so desperate to impress a stranger trapped behind a screen? I needed to go cold turkey and figure out why I had been sucked in so completely.
I realised that, a lot of the time, I was swiping out of boredom. Instead of enjoying the few moments in the day when I had no responsibilities, I'd reach for my phone. The thrill of going through a pile of likes was unlike anything else. I was addicted to the dopamine rush and the feeling of being wanted - "This person likes me," I'd gush. "This could be the start of our future."
This story is from the June 21, 2024 edition of The Guardian Weekly.
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