Looking back at Charli xcx's DIY pandemic album 'how i'm feeling now' 5 years later

2024 is considered by pop culture enthusiasts as the “year of the brat” thanks to Charli xcx’s smash-hit, Grammy-nominated album. Who knew that a simple cover art with a Pantone green background and a stretched-out ‘brat’ text would spark an internet phenomenon?

- By JANUAR JUNIOR AGUJA

Usually associated as a noun to describe an ill-mannered child, Collins Dictionary offered an alternative definition when declaring “brat” their word of the year—using it as an adjective to describe someone with a “confident, independent, and hedonistic attitude.”

That’s mostly true. The 15-track album features songs like “Von dutch,” “360,” and “Mean girls” that live up to Charli’s signature hedonistic flair. But it also includes more vulnerable tracks like “Sympathy is a knife,” “Apple,” and “I think about it all the time,” where she confronts insecurities, reflects on inheriting her parents’ worst traits, and hints at possibly ending her clubbing days and going off birth control to start a family with her fiancé and The 1975’s drummer George Daniel — who is one of the album’s producers.

It’s important to note that the fame Charli, 32, is experiencing now wasn’t an overnight success. The ethos of “brat” — a confident, hedonistic woman with a lot of emotional baggage — would not exist without the album she created during the pandemic: “how i’m feeling now,” which recently turned five years old and has a track currently trending on TikTok and climbing the charts.

- A DIY album during quarantine -

Five years ago, Charli was in a different place in the pop culture zeitgeist. Most of her hardcore fans (known as Angels) were content with her not reaching “main pop girl” status, as long as she continued making music on her own terms.